We Graduated!

Today is a great day because we had our 2nd ultrasound in two weeks and all is looking good and healthy. Our little guy or gal is 8 weeks 5 days today and measuring perfectly in size and had a heartbeat of 174! Two weeks ago we got to see the heartbeat for the first time and at that time it was 127. This is all good news because it means we get to leave PNW Fertility after 13 months of ups and mostly downs. After all the heart ache of not getting my lining thick enough, the hysteroscopy, the first transfer that ended in DNC, the shots of progesterone, lupron, estrogen, and HCG triggers, the baby aspirin, tons of acupuncture and ultrasounds, and the months and months of doctor appointments we finally get to go to a normal doctor or midwifery group. I can’t tell you how excited I am to feel just a little bit normal for once after finding out about my 3 way translocation last summer. I know we aren’t out of the woods quite yet because it’s still early and it will still be a few more weeks til we tell the world but for now this is the happiest news we could hope for.

-H

Lots of Updates

Hello!

Well, it’s been a while since I updated this blog and there are a lot of new developments! We went on vacation in Europe in early May and while sitting at a cafe over lunch one day we decided to use our last embryo instead of moving forward with a new donor. I think after my grandma’s passing it just felt right and why let that embryo sit forever. If we had gotten new embryos created we probably would have never used it. Plus, we didn’t know what the timing would be if we started with a new donor either and it could have been a few more months before we could try again.

It turned out to be perfect timing with my cycle. My period started just before we left Europe and when we got home I went to the Dr. and everything looked good in an ultrasound and bloodwork wise so I started my shots of follistim, just as we did last time. By 8 days later my uterine lining was about to 8mm and the next day it was 8.07mm which is the thickest it had ever gotten. I did my HCG trigger shot Tuesday, May 22 which was our 2 year Wedding Anniversary and then for Memorial Day weekend I got to stay home and give myself progesterone shots. We finally transferred our last little embryo on May 28th (Memorial Day).

So far this one has felt a little different than the last to me…I don’t know if it’s just because I’ve been more relaxed since our vacation or what. I started peeing on a stick June 2nd and every day until yesterday. By day 2 I was seeing a faint line, day 3 was a little darker, and by yesterday it was turning quite dark more quickly. Today was my beta and I’m happy to report that my HCG levels were 291.6 and I am indeed pregnant!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m proceeding cautiously. I still worry that things will go wrong after the last transfer. I go back on Saturday (my birthday) and hopefully the numbers will double in 48-72 hours and then I expect I will come in again next week, good or bad. If all things proceed as they should our 1st ultrasound will be June 25 and we will be due Feb. 13, 2013.

Grow baby grow!

H

Dusting Myself Off

I live in Seattle and it has been cold lately. It’s supposed to be spring but right now as I write this it is 37 degrees outside. But as the sun came through the window temporarily this morning I felt better this morning and thought this is the first day to the next FET cycle and what am I going to do differently this time? I know there’s not a lot I can do that would have changed the outcome of this FET cycle unfortunately but for myself there are some things I can do better.

1. I’m going to start doing yoga and pilates more and some other exercise classes. I belong to a gym and their are daily classes that I don’t go to so there is no excuse. I mainly go and do the elliptical machines and once in a while weights and I feel like I just maintain my weight. I’m lucky to be petite but I really don’t feel like I’m in that great of shape. I’m going to take advantage of these classes and get toned over the next 6-8 weeks before we try again.

2. I’m going to eat more fruit and veggies. We just started to get a box delivered from New Roots Organics in Seattle biweekly so I really have no excuse to not eat healthy. Today is a new shipment so I’m excited to see what we get.

3. I’m going to continue acupuncture at Grassroots in Fremont. I’ve been going there since January when my health insurance stopped covering me at another place I was going. However, I am going to also supplement visits with a Chinese Dr. who my acupuncturist has recommended because she helps women get pregnant and uses Chinese herbs.

4. I will continue to take my prenatal vitamin along with chaste tree berry, red raspberry leaf, baby aspirin and vitamin e. I was taking all these before because they are supposed to help in getting my lining thick and I needed all the help I could get. I’m hoping that since we got my lining thick enough last time with follistim that it will magically work right away in May or June when we do this again. I think it will help take a month or two off from now til then to get my body back in a balance.

5. I want to start meditation. I’m not sure how often I will do this or what the best techniques are yet but I’m going to do some research on it. I know that just being in yoga classes will help with this.

6. I’m going to work on my graphic design business for myself. With so much going on with trying to get pregnant and it being such an up hill battle for us I often forget that I am a creative person and do have my business license and wanted to start doing web design and/or wedding invitations on the side. I do have a couple small projects right now but really I could be doing a lot more and I need to focus on using my time well.

7. We are going to Barcelona and Paris in May and I need to work on our itinerary and learning French.

8. Spend quality time with my husband. We don’t get enough of it.

9. Just get back to a “normal” for a little bit. Even if I don’t know what that is right now. I need to set up a daily routine to get me back on track.

I’ll try to update how I’m doing. This whole cycle still hurts but I’m getting through it one hour or day at a time. I know it’s okay to be sad and cry but really I just want my life back a little bit right now and to feel needed and do some stuff for myself and the “other side” of my life.

-H

A Little More Hopeful

Today I got up around 8:45am and my phone rang about 20 minutes later. When my Dr. office calls it says “UNKNOWN” so I always know its them. I answered it expecting to be talking to the nurse but it was Dr. Lamb, who has been my infertility physician since last June. She was calling to check up on me and make sure I had good support through all this and just make sure I’m doing okay. She had no real words of wisdom for why any of this happened and she is sad for us and was very hopeful when our numbers were so good the first blood test last week. There’s no way to know why this happened, it just did and now we move on and try again. She said it is okay for us to take a month off and feel things out but there is a chance that we could just roll right into another cycle right away. Once my period starts I will go in and we will do a blood test and ultrasound and see where my hCG levels are and if there is any scar tissue from this miscarriage. If everything looks okay I think we will probably just start follistim again and roll with the punches! If not we will probably have to wait til June because we have a trip to Europe coming up early May (to celebrate our two year wedding anniversary coming up!) and I would most likely need to be around for tests, etc. at that time. Part of me wants to continue on with this right away and part of me wants to wait because wouldn’t it be nice to be able to eat brie and drink wine in Paris? It could also be a nice celebration if we get preggo though. I guess I’m game either way.

I also called Premera today because our healthcare starts over April 1 and there is a new plan that we can choose to participate in. I found out they offer 15k lifetime in infertility benefits which is great because our current plan offers 10k lifetime and we have almost used that up with all the months of trying to get my lining thick. There will be more out of pocket costs with this new plan but its so wonderful that we can start over with coverage, plus now we seem to know how to thicken my lining so it shouldn’t (knock on wood) take so long next time.

We’ve started having discussions on what to do next if this next transfer doesn’t work but really I think we should be continuing with positive thoughts that the next one WILL work and when the time comes, if we decide to have more children, when we decide to have more, then we will figure out what to do then. I think we are a little discouraged about using the same clinic but there are ups and downs everywhere you go and I really like the care I’ve been getting so we’ll just have to see what happens. To be continued…

-H